So there I am leading a discussion on being motivated by Love rather than fear and guilt when the Church Lady blindsides me with:
“Why should anyone listen to you when you can not bother to bring your family to church on Sunday nights? And how to do you expect to lead your neighbors to Christ when they see your car still in the driveway and that you aren’t dedicated enough to be here every time this church meets?”
Now, it has become common for many churches to forego a regular Sunday evening service for many reasons. Of course, there is no command that Christian churches should meet for a second service on Sunday and no example of the early church engaging in this practice. But here is an example of a rule created by man, society, and tradition that I was expected to follow.
And now I was being judged for breaking it.
Should I defend myself? Then I will do so.
I was a practicing litigation attorney who, in addition to teaching a class and being involved in church, was also helping to start a brand new non-profit organization for adults with special needs while also continuing to be heavily involved with my local Lions Club organization. As an attorney, I regularly worked 60+ hour weeks. And we had a newborn baby.
Sunday evenings was for family time. I believe God understood that.
So Church Lady challenges me and I was initially dumbstruck. I was hurt. I stumbled but when I did recover I answered something like this:
“I believe my neighbors will be more favorable to my beliefs, no matter whether they see my car or not on Sundays, so long as they see an open door and warm heart when needed. In fact, I believe that it does more harm than good to see someone who clearly attends church regularly but when home is cold and unapproachable.”
Do you know what I have realized since? No. One. Cares. To the people that don’t go to church on Sundays, you tell me: you likely aren’t even out early enough to know who has gone to church and who hasn’t, right? Do you keep track?
The only people keeping an accounting of which cars are missing on Sunday mornings, are the people headed to church themselves. And if you are one of those people, what motivates you to keep track?
Remember: I can be a cynic. And I believe this–when you are loading your family in the car on Sunday morning, you either don’t care at all which of your neighbors is sleeping in or you care way to much.
We are either too self-absorbed to care about those around us. Or we believe we are so perfect that it is our job to pass judgment on those next door.
Here is my point, though: We should care.
I do not need to be judged based upon my church attendance record. My ability to change this world really happens when I am outside of the church building.
So do I know my neighbors? Do I know them not by whether their cars are visible on Sunday mornings; but, do I know them by who they are and what they need?
For me, the answer is “no.” I need to do better.
My wife and I are trying something new. In two weeks we are hosting a Christmas party and inviting all of our new neighbors. I have no idea whether this will be successful at all. And we both have social anxieties. But we are going to try and step out of ourselves long enough to care and try to learn about our neighbors and their needs.